Cry to the Lord

Several years ago I went through a time of depression over the losses in my life and the hardship of being disabled. Times like these come and go and I am happy to say that they do not plague me as often as they used to - praise God.
As I was going through this valley, I began to have a warped view of crying and decided there would be no more tears from me at all. So, this blog post is for all those who think they must be strong at all times and never shed a tear - the Lord taught me so much during this time and I pray He will use this to do the same with you.

So, that was it - no more tears, I just thought I would go through the rest of my life with pain, heartache, losses and disability without ever having any true emotion about it again. For those of you who know me best, this was almost impossible because I have a VERY tender heart and cry over almost everything - something I inherited from my tender-hearted mother and for which I am so thankful.
But back then I was determined to be tough, I thought I had cried enough. This is a journal entry from that time and my thinking on the whole crying thing:

"I feel really awful today and I have continued to have more and more seizures which has not helped anything. I could sit and cry for hours - that is how intense the pain is in my heart today. But, I have decided that I am not going to cry - and I didn't all day. It took everything in me - but no tears. With all the hurt, disease, cancer, people who can't see, hear, have no arms or legs... how dare I sit and cry over my few seizures and loss of mobility. Please Lord, help me through this time and allow me be be strong."

A few days later God had me in the Psalms - I know I have said this before but that is the place to be if you are facing a trial. He began to show me how David and the other Psalmists CRIED, but they had purpose in their crying. They cried out to their Mighty and Loving God.

I learned during this season that God already knows how my heart is aching, He knows every thought I have ever had - He is never surprised at what might come out of my mouth or cross my mind. He just wants me to bring all of that to Him so that He can bring me the peace and comfort that can only come from him. The tears can be healing, IF they are cried out to my Savior, leaning on Him and realizing that I need Him alone to see me through.
If you are in need of a good cry but think you have to stay strong in all things, allow the Word of God to penetrate your heart today:

"But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts my up head. I cried to the Lord with my voice and He heard me from His holy hill." Psalm 3:3-4

"Hear me when I call O God of my righteousness. You have relieved me in my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer." Psalm 4:1

"Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my meditation. Give heed to the voice of my cry, my King and my God. For to you I will pray, my voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning I will direct it to You and I will look up." Psalm 5:1-3

"In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, and my cry came before Him, even to His ears." Psalm 18:6

Those are only a few examples and I don't know about you but it makes me want to jump out of my skin to think that the God of the Universe hears MY voice and it comes straight to His ears. What we say and how we feel matters to God. I pray today if your heart is bleeding and you just can't take the pain anymore, sit and cry with the God who loves you more than you will ever know. God doesn't want us to be tough, he wants to have a relationship with us and to hold us in His loving Hand - allow Him to comfort your soul.

Rejoicing in Hope,
Roxanne