I am not sure where the last week and a half have gone, it seems like an eternity since I have written and I have missed it. I have had a hard time keeping up with my normal routine lately due to some side effects I have been having from a seizure medicine I am trying.
This latest chapter all began back in April when Stephen and I decided that it might be a good idea to explore some of the meds I have already tried - I have been on everything (some things a few times) and there is nothing new for now. We thought some of the drugs I tried in the past may be worth re-visiting again, you never know how a medicine may work a second or third time around. So, on April 14th I began a medication that I was on about 10 years ago.
The outcome for my seizure activity has been very good and I give all the praise and glory to my Jesus, who holds my heart and my hand on this long journey each day. There are, however, two very difficult side effects that I am struggling with daily. The first being severe and often debilitating nausea. There is just no other way to put it, it has been horrible. I am sick most of the time and just praying my way through my day - God has been very good to remind me that when I am weak, He is strong.
The second of the side effects is a very powerful appetite suppressant. I am just really never hungry and have already lost 10 pounds (not complaining about that) but just feeling sick and not eating for three months takes a toll on a body.
We are believing God for the side effects to completely subside so that I will be able to increase the dosage of the medicine and for a continued increase in seizure free days. I am asking you, my sweet friends and readers to believe and pray with us. I can't even remember the last time I had this many seizure free days and my heart leaps for joy to think it could increase.
I also covet your prayers over my emotions. It is easy for me to become frustrated in times when I never feel well and I am just riding this roller coaster over and over again. But, I stand against frustration and doubt, knowing that nothing comes to me (or any of us) without first being filtered through the Father's Hand. I choose to be content in all of the difficult times and lean harder on the Lord - He is enough.
Thank you for lifting me before the Father. I am standing on Psalm 62:1-2 "Truly my soul silently waits for God; from Him comes my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense, I shall not be greatly be moved." Thank you for standing with me!
Rejoicing in Hope,
Roxanne
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Everyday Life
I have heard one question quite a bit the last several years, "How do you function everyday?" People are always very curious how someone who has almost daily seizures does "the little things... the routine things."
I thought I would take this opportunity to share a little bit of how my day goes, how I get things done and the way in which I do some of the things of everyday life.
My day starts probably a lot like yours, just wanting five more minutes of precious sleep! Stephen gets up first, which allows me about two or three minutes to pray. I take this time because I know the day will be a challenge and sometimes I think. "O Lord another day! How will I make it through? More seizures, more limitations, more side effects from new seizure meds I am trying - God give me the strength." He always does and He also reminds me that I am not in this alone. I wait for Stephen to help me out of bed, we have a bed that is high and requires steps to get in and out of, something I obviously cannot do alone, due to seizures and safety. I cannot remember the last time I climbed in or out of bed by myself.
Stephen sticks pretty close by me while we do our morning routine - in the blink of an eye I have been known to hit the floor and that would be a tough way to begin the day.
A few years ago I started dressing in the closet, sitting on the floor. This is safer and makes it easier for Stephen in case he cannot stand right there - safety first at our house!
My wheelchair helps me to do the housework I am still able to do and I enjoy it very much. I think out of all the things I miss doing, I miss housework the most. I know most of you women are gritting your teeth but, you never know how much you will miss something until you can't do it any longer.
Two years ago Stephen bought me a catcher's mask, I use it when I go from wheelchair to couch or chair - or wherever I need to go. Not a fashion statement I would have chosen myself but it is better than losing my front teeth... again. I never walk anywhere alone, if I need to get somewhere my wheelchair cannot take me, I crawl. And believe me, my 42 year old knees have got the permanent scars to prove it - you will never catch ME in shorts!
Most of my trips to the little girls' room are accompanied by my wonderful husband who never seems to get tired of hearing, "Stephen, I need to go to the bathroom!" But for the times when he is not here I use my trusty helmet. I must say I really don't like using it at all. It is ugly, heavy and it gives me just the slightest bit of claustrophobia! But I will continue to use it for the sake of my face and my teeth but I think it will forever be a love/hate thing between me and my "friend."
Cooking has been very tough for me for a very long time and through the years it has only gotten worse. I do not use the stove by myself - you can probably guess why but if you need some help, let's just say a seizure patient with her head in the oven is never a pretty sight. I can no longer use the microwave because, number one: ours is up high and I can't reach from my wheelchair and number two: it is never wise for someone with seizures to handle hot things - hence the reasoning behind the oven use or lack thereof! I also never handle anything sharp, so, anything that needs chopping has to be done by the men in the house. So, it is safe to say, we eat out a lot.
About nine months ago we came to the conclusion that I needed to stop using the flat iron on my hair - again just too dangerous. So, just as he has so many times before, my amazing husband stepped up to the plate and now does my hair for me. This was another one of those things that was hard to let go, we women like to do our hair and primp in the mirror. I am just thankful for the servant heart Stephen has and how the Lord has used it to bless and encourage me over the years. And I must say I think he does a better job with my hair than I did!
Through all of these adjustments, transitions and even losses God has remained faithful. He has showed me time and time again that His grace is sufficient and He will carry me through another day. I have learned something so vital through all the trials. That is, if my days were not so trying, I would not be able to see the goodness and all sufficient power of the Living God.
There is a song that I really like by Ayiesha Woods called, "Days" - the chorus does a better job of expressing what I have been saying and goes like this:
"Don't you wish that every day was an easy day? And there was nothing that you couldn't do. But if every day was an easy day, you'd never be able to say that Jesus brought you through."
Thank you Lord for bringing me through all of the days, both easy, and not so easy.
Rejoicing in Hope,
Roxanne
"This is the day the Lord made, we will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
I thought I would take this opportunity to share a little bit of how my day goes, how I get things done and the way in which I do some of the things of everyday life.
My day starts probably a lot like yours, just wanting five more minutes of precious sleep! Stephen gets up first, which allows me about two or three minutes to pray. I take this time because I know the day will be a challenge and sometimes I think. "O Lord another day! How will I make it through? More seizures, more limitations, more side effects from new seizure meds I am trying - God give me the strength." He always does and He also reminds me that I am not in this alone. I wait for Stephen to help me out of bed, we have a bed that is high and requires steps to get in and out of, something I obviously cannot do alone, due to seizures and safety. I cannot remember the last time I climbed in or out of bed by myself.
Stephen sticks pretty close by me while we do our morning routine - in the blink of an eye I have been known to hit the floor and that would be a tough way to begin the day.
A few years ago I started dressing in the closet, sitting on the floor. This is safer and makes it easier for Stephen in case he cannot stand right there - safety first at our house!
My wheelchair helps me to do the housework I am still able to do and I enjoy it very much. I think out of all the things I miss doing, I miss housework the most. I know most of you women are gritting your teeth but, you never know how much you will miss something until you can't do it any longer.
Two years ago Stephen bought me a catcher's mask, I use it when I go from wheelchair to couch or chair - or wherever I need to go. Not a fashion statement I would have chosen myself but it is better than losing my front teeth... again. I never walk anywhere alone, if I need to get somewhere my wheelchair cannot take me, I crawl. And believe me, my 42 year old knees have got the permanent scars to prove it - you will never catch ME in shorts!
Most of my trips to the little girls' room are accompanied by my wonderful husband who never seems to get tired of hearing, "Stephen, I need to go to the bathroom!" But for the times when he is not here I use my trusty helmet. I must say I really don't like using it at all. It is ugly, heavy and it gives me just the slightest bit of claustrophobia! But I will continue to use it for the sake of my face and my teeth but I think it will forever be a love/hate thing between me and my "friend."
Cooking has been very tough for me for a very long time and through the years it has only gotten worse. I do not use the stove by myself - you can probably guess why but if you need some help, let's just say a seizure patient with her head in the oven is never a pretty sight. I can no longer use the microwave because, number one: ours is up high and I can't reach from my wheelchair and number two: it is never wise for someone with seizures to handle hot things - hence the reasoning behind the oven use or lack thereof! I also never handle anything sharp, so, anything that needs chopping has to be done by the men in the house. So, it is safe to say, we eat out a lot.
About nine months ago we came to the conclusion that I needed to stop using the flat iron on my hair - again just too dangerous. So, just as he has so many times before, my amazing husband stepped up to the plate and now does my hair for me. This was another one of those things that was hard to let go, we women like to do our hair and primp in the mirror. I am just thankful for the servant heart Stephen has and how the Lord has used it to bless and encourage me over the years. And I must say I think he does a better job with my hair than I did!
Through all of these adjustments, transitions and even losses God has remained faithful. He has showed me time and time again that His grace is sufficient and He will carry me through another day. I have learned something so vital through all the trials. That is, if my days were not so trying, I would not be able to see the goodness and all sufficient power of the Living God.
There is a song that I really like by Ayiesha Woods called, "Days" - the chorus does a better job of expressing what I have been saying and goes like this:
"Don't you wish that every day was an easy day? And there was nothing that you couldn't do. But if every day was an easy day, you'd never be able to say that Jesus brought you through."
Thank you Lord for bringing me through all of the days, both easy, and not so easy.
Rejoicing in Hope,
Roxanne
"This is the day the Lord made, we will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
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