First of all, let me apologize for not writing for such a long time, the last several months have been crazy and challenging for me and my family. Lots of seizures, trying to increase my meds once again - that was another failed attempt and just the overall challenge of daily life with handicaps - has kept me away from blogging! I will try to do a better job :)
Tomorrow will mark the date of the 26th anniversary of my very first seizure. It is hard to believe that I have been doing this for so long. 26 years of seizures, medicines - most of them doing little to nothing - and 26 years of emotional challenges in dealing with the magnitude of my circumstances.
Life is hard, that is just a very simple fact. Sometimes it does nothing less than chew you up and spit you out. That is definitely what the last year has felt like for our family.
But then there is God...
God is there to remind me that He has never left me and never will. He is holding me in the very palm of His mighty hand. He has a plan and purpose for me that I cannot even fathom. He is the Author and Finisher of my faith - the Anchor of my soul, my Redeemer God and Friend!
So, as I sit here in my wheelchair contemplating these long years of battle with epilepsy; all that really comes to mind is how blessed I am.
Blessed...
to be loved by the man of my dreams. He was with me for that first seizure in 1985 and he has been here ever since! If seeing your girlfriend have a grand mal seizure after only 9 months of dating doesn't run you off, I guess nothing will! I love my Stephen and we both know that it was God who brought us together and God who continues to fan the flame of our almost 27 year romance.
Blessed...
to have been given the incredible gift of being Josh's mom. Against all odds, I had a wonderful pregnancy and a healthy baby. God is good! That baby is now 14 years old and such a handsome young man. He is growing in the Lord and learning the things in life that are truly important. He is our joy and the light of our lives.
Blessed...
to know my Jesus and the power of His Word. So thankful am I to have learned the tough lessons in life and the importance of clinging to them through the storms that come my way. One of them being, walking, is not the most important thing in life - trusting God while coming to know this is. The other being that God will use the weakest of people for His glory - seizures, wheelchair and all. I am humbled at this realization.
So, here I am again, staring July 21st in the face - with all the memories of that first seizure as well as all the years following but, today I can honestly say I am a blessed woman indeed. So undeserving of the grace that my Lord so richly pours over me each day. Praising Him that it IS sufficient for all my needs.
Rejoicing in Hope,
Roxanne
"I will love You O, Lord, my strength." Psalm 18:1
