Battle Weary...

Yesterday I went to see my third rheumatologist to get the bottom of all the pain I am having throughout my body. It was a good visit, we liked the doctor very much. She asked me lots of questions including, "Have you ever been tested for Lupus?" I haven't and she was somewhat concerned it could be that, RA or Schleroderma. We did blood work - 11 tubes of blood, and I will get the results back on March 4th, it takes 2 weeks for the Lupus testing.

I left the appointment feeling a little overwhelmed and in all honesty I was asking this of my God.

"Lord, something else? Isn't it already enough?"

So, as I write this today I must say that I am going through what I like to call "Life Fatigue" - you know what I mean, we all have these times when life just becomes too much. For me, I am tired, worn and just plain ready to be done with this roller coaster ride I have been on for 42 years. My body aches from so much pain and my head is spinning from all the new medications I have started in the last month. Since the middle of January I also found out my Thyroid is low - new pill for that, my Progesterone level is low - new pill for that and my Vitamin D level is very low - 2 new pills for that. And of course, we top it all off with an endless supply of seizures and the medication that goes with that!

I felt that I needed to be very honest with all of my wonderful readers today and let you all know that I am having a tough time. I am human and right now my heart is heavy and, like the title says - I am battle weary.

God has been so good to speak to me over the past few hours and remind me once again that He is God and I am not - am I the only one who forgets that from time to time? I have heard Him say to me several times in the last few hours -

"I will not leave you or forsake you. I am your God and I will go before you, My grace is sufficient."

I am always thankful when the Lord speaks to me. He reminds me of who He is and who I am in Him. I can and will rejoice in the hope that I have in the Lord - even when it is tough to do so.

So, for the next 2 weeks I will wait... and pray. I will rest in my Jesus, who holds my very overwhelmed heart in His mighty Hand. I will also trust that the outcome of all of this will draw me closer to Him and bring Him glory. And lastly, I will be still and know that He is God.

Thank you all for waiting and praying with me.

"Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

Rejoicing in Hope,
Roxanne